Process

In the times of social distancing I am staying at home with my family. I spend a lot of time playing with my daughter. She likes to watch The Pink Panther and inspired by the cartoon she has made and commented this little installation.

It made me reflect on the current situation. What a big lie it is, that we are all in the same trouble these days. That the virus makes us equal. 

There are people who can afford to stay at home. There are others who are forced to do so because they have lost their jobs and goals. And there are others who can not afford to do so. 

Dogs, masters and panthers we all are.


For more than 60 days living in an 11 m2 room, without a balcony and unable to be exposed to direct light, my life is not much different than detention in a prison. The turmoil of the information or news, the threat of infectious diseases, the overload of daily cleaning and disinfecting works ... are all creating the terrible claustrophobia, extreme bondage and crazy suppression around me. This actual situation is somehow similar to being in psychological torture. In these moments, the image of the tortured prisoners at GUANTÁNAMO BAY prison, Cuba clearly occurs in my mind.

The regulation of spaces is having a strong impact on me. Access, control, non access is changing my perception of space and the relation I establish between public and private spaces. I feel to start reseting myself to live on new conditions. I am refusing to change to this new type of relation but I am also too afraid to risk...

Trapped inside our flat under pressure, to reach a level where we take it out with us.
Trying to protect our beloved ones could be as harmful as this disease.

The earth is my body. The sky is my body. The seasons are my body. The water is my body too. The world is just as big as my body. Do not think I am just in the east, west, south, or north. I am aIl over.

From Richard Schechner's Environmental theatre

I was being quarantined in the individual room in Szent Laszlo hospital from March 4th  to March 17th. I was surrounded by white light, metal bed, the smell of the hospital, the sound of an ambulance, and nurses covered fully with gowns and masks. But eventually, this space opened up to me, and I could feel the sky above me, the earth under my feet, the trees around me, and the sun shining on me. I wasn’t only in one space; I was all over.

here is just the beginning of the process of my exploration…


Someone said,

Your desire to be near to window is your desire to be close to life!

Thats is what we are left with now...isn't it?

..Our windows might be different....so are our inner realities...but now aren't we all under the same roof even being isolated...facing the same window that separates us from the outer world but opens another window of self discovery........

Windows on the making.